Poll Clerk Pillows

"Eenie meenie miney mo..."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Elections

Check zombies.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Do you think the 'Taliban' is: (a) a cellphone company; (b) a deodorant (c) a terrorist company

Vote: Have your photo ID ready!

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

King Solomon's Pollster.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"If I vote my conscience, it's Sanders. If I vote my pocketbook, it's Trump. If I vote my emotions, it's Hillary. If I vote my anger, it's Cruz..."

Elections in the USA

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

Pollster

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

'Why are these polling places so hard to get to?"

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

The US election is over.

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Carl's still 51 annoyed at you for saying his opinion was statistically insignificant.

election polling

Pollsters