Poll Clerk Mugs

"Eenie meenie miney mo..."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Elections

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

Check zombies.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Do you think the 'Taliban' is: (a) a cellphone company; (b) a deodorant (c) a terrorist company

Vote: Have your photo ID ready!

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

King Solomon's Pollster.

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"If I vote my conscience, it's Sanders. If I vote my pocketbook, it's Trump. If I vote my emotions, it's Hillary. If I vote my anger, it's Cruz..."

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

Pollster

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Elections in the USA

'Why are these polling places so hard to get to?"

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

Pickle

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

The US election is over.

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"The poll results are in. Our lies are resonating with the public way more than our opponent's lies."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Carl's still 51 annoyed at you for saying his opinion was statistically insignificant.

Pollsters

election polling