Poll Taking Mugs

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

"Yes, you caught me at a bad time...I'm home!"

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Do you think the 'Taliban' is: (a) a cellphone company; (b) a deodorant (c) a terrorist company

King Solomon's Pollster.

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"If I vote my conscience, it's Sanders. If I vote my pocketbook, it's Trump. If I vote my emotions, it's Hillary. If I vote my anger, it's Cruz..."

Elections in the USA

Pollster

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Pickle

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

The US election is over.

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

Carl's still 51 annoyed at you for saying his opinion was statistically insignificant.

"The poll results are in. Our lies are resonating with the public way more than our opponent's lies."

"We made mistakes & have evidently lost the trust of the public. Therefore I feel I must tender my resignation..."

election polling

Pollsters

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.