Politically Jaded Joker Gifts

Political Poll results are in... 'None of the above' was the overwhelming favourite.

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

"I'd like an application form for the position of minister, please!"

Toilet humour

"'Article I. Section 9. Claus B. No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States' - we gotta change that."

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Here lies BoBo the Clown

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"What do you mean, you 'feel funny'?"

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

Mr. Bubbles was beginning to regret sending his son off to clown college. 'Is that what they teach you, up at that fancy school of yours?!'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

No infrastructure problem here

'Two, four, six, eight Who do we appreciate ,,,'

"His legs yurn to jello when he wears Relaxed Fit jeans."

I thought we'd get fake tattoos of each other's names. If we're still together in 10 years, we'll get real ones.'

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'A room with double beds, please.'

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

Shenanigans at the Leper Colony.

A clown & his clone.

Scottish Independence: The Union Jock.

'Honey, do you want to watch Dancing With the Stars, or the news showing Congress dancing all around the tough issues?'

"Now go home and forget about your amnesia..."