Climate-conscious Joker Gifts

"Well, ya gotta admit, Ol' Darryl's always thinking outside the box..."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

Crisis Buzz.

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

"It's so warm that I'm laying hard boiled eggs."

"Whoever pulls it out becomes King of Britain, but Phil licked the handle, so..."

'Okay, but for future reference; We never grit the ice in here.'

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

The nuclear power plant didn't doom the Snail Darter as feared.

"With the way the weather is these days I went ahead and packed my bathing suit, sun screen and cross country skis."

'Why are you watching TV with the lights off?'

'Another advantage is everyone will have better tans.'

'They can't help smelling like that -- they're biodegradable.'

"The bad news is climate change is for real. The good news is it will make the liberal left extinct by 2050."

Tonight's topic: Global warming.

"As part of our environmental policy we burn compliance to heat the system."

Boss, there's no toxic waste anywhere near the café, is there? What is this, the eighties? What's next, you're going to ask me if any whales or baby seals are harmed in the production of our coffee? Are you going to ask me to sing "We are the World" with Stevie Wonder? Are you going to ask me to film a "very special episode" about the dangers of dope? People didn't just care about this stuff in the 1980s, boss. Want me to get some Krazy Glue and fix the "hole in the ozone layer"?

"I think it's a Spider Plant bite."

'Nobody said anything about a bagpipe ban.'

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

'I jogged 120 miles last month and drank 3 gallons of wine. At 40 mpg, I'm doing more than my share for the energy crisis.'

Did you hear about the latest oil spill, Gloria? Let me guess

'I'm helping to 'Save the Planet'... doing 'my-bit' for energy conservation!'

McDonald's Wraps Burgers in Grass Paper

"To be environmentally responsible I'm recycling my sister's old book reports."

'And I'm pleased to report that we were able to reduce our carbon footprint...'

'Of course it's worth it, think of the water we're saving.'

'If global warming means less migrating, I'm all for it.'

STOP GLOBAL WARMING!, 'Let's call it a day before we get frostbite.'

"We're under stage four water restrictions!"

Wind Farm

"Are you sure it's vegan?"