Political Pollster Gifts

Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo! Political pollsters.

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

"Would you like your MP not to stand at the next election?"

"It's seasonal, like the first gritters of Winter and the first cuckoos of Spring...the first pollsters of the election!"

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

POLLS, 'You're a registered Republican? -- Is that because you hate women, or because you hate African-Americans?'

"I don't care if you are a political pollster, when it comes to your income we don't allow a margin of error of 4%."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Do you think the 'Taliban' is: (a) a cellphone company; (b) a deodorant (c) a terrorist company

King Solomon's Pollster.

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"If I vote my conscience, it's Sanders. If I vote my pocketbook, it's Trump. If I vote my emotions, it's Hillary. If I vote my anger, it's Cruz..."

Desk of Public Opinion Polls has 'In' box 'Out' box and 'Undecided'.

Elections in the USA

Pickle

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Pollster

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

The US election is over.

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'