Political Partygoer Gifts

'Come on in! I may be the only Independent candidate but I don't see why we can't enjoy a party of our own.'

'His idea of bipartisan is going to two parties a night.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"I am so attracted to you right now."

That party went well.

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

Masquerade

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Redhead

Carioca

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

Cheers

Leo McKern

Blue Haired Lady in Ballgown

Guy dressed as an ostrich at a fancy dress party. Lump in birds throat like a real bird.

Christmas sweater alternatives

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

Space hopper as a bouncer of a nightclub

"Happy Birthday - I saw this and thought of you."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

'At that moment, across a crowded room, their thighs met.'

"I'm terrible with names, but never fail at fingerprint, facial or voice recognition."

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

Down on Bourbon Street...

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

The Friday Night Olive Races Down at the Tribeca Martini Bar

"My compliments to the sommelier."

"Aperitif?"

God save the Queen.