Political Joke Collector Pillows

"Ph God! Uncle Billy was just a pile of Ayn Rand works in a suit this entire time."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Lactose Intolerant

The Rooster Comedian.

Reagacentennial

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Suffering from Cooties?

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

Useless add-ons.

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Trump Poutine

US and the EU

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"If you'd like to take a seat."

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

My daddy ate my homework

Shark infested custard!