Political Joke Appreciator Pillows

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, How old are you? - Mohammed. 86. Huh? You're not going on a rant about the offensive nature of the question, or telling some mindless story about something that happened forever ago with some fetching politician? Implicit. Not fair. We're feeling deprived of venom!

Archival Warfare

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

What's an Imax cave?

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Laughing Zone Ahead

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

'HEY! Shouldn't that be a reef-knot?!'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

Split the last one?

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Due to Global Warming Penguins have been Spotted Far from their Natural Habitat

OMG.

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

"Calm down! That was a massive fart, NOT a sneeze!"

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

'Warren buffett invests only in things he understands...my view is that politicians should regulate only things they understand!'

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

Shortly Thereafter, They Would Make Sweeping Changes To Their Policies.