Political Event Pillows

"If all this healthcare debate makes my head explode, will our current plan cover it?"

"Place your left hand on the Bible, raise your right hand, and repeat after me, 'Wow, I can't believe this is happening to me.'"

"It's just the government, dear..."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Trump is buried in an hourglass

"There is no dopier, goofier, more bullyish or stubborn cartoon character than ME!"

'Just pretend they're not here. They're my transition team.'

Tonight: The Unraveling President - Russian Performance Art.

Automatic cuts in the federal budget known as The Sequester mean that the government won't be able to provide the usual level of services...

Obama Clinic and Republican Clinic

"We're going have to build higher walls."

Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump meet.

Justice: Obstruction Of

"They were out to get me!"

"Two strikes, how about I throw you a slow ball?"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Away with the warmonger!"

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

Green Balloon

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Children's Party

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"Whine and cheezed party."

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

The Decline of Europe