Election Fanfare Pillows

Bush's Momentum.

"Away with the warmonger!"

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Elections

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

"Those MORONS! I have way more chest hair than THAT! Ha!"

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

'Their ruling's all about Freedom of Speech...which allows us to say, 'We have the right to influence elections''

Explosives: Libyan Oil

Harcourt's Defeat in 1895 Election

'The trouble with electing a man on horseback is that somebody has to clean up after him.'

"We're going have to build higher walls."

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

"I'm finally done celebrating the recent election."

'On the Internet we found weapons of mass intrusion.'

'I don't know -- maybe an evil robot from the future IS the kind of President we need.'

Hillary Clinton

"Place your left hand on the Bible, raise your right hand, and repeat after me, 'Wow, I can't believe this is happening to me.'"

"Say, isn't that Rudy Giuliani?"

'Just pretend they're not here. They're my transition team.'

"What's Dad watching? Some scary Halloween show?"

Holy Moses!

'You will meet a tall, dark and handsome man. He will play forward on the pro-basketball team you've just bought!'

"Two strikes, how about I throw you a slow ball?"

"Even after all these years, I still find it very exciting using my vote to cancel out your father's."

'It was a very friendly reception - the Democrats even registered me to vote!'

TRUMP

'...And while everybody's celebrating the big tax cut, we'll sneak in a postage hike!'