Football Fanfare Pillows

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

The best goalie in the world!

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"He's starting to flag a bit"

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"Relax, grandpa. The quarterback is taking a knee to run out the clock."

David and Goliath.

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Football

"Can't fool me, Jake, there's a coach comin' in!"

'He's one of the drawbacks.'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Sportscasters on the Savannah

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool?"

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"

'Last quarter, Jeremy, you dropped two passes. Could you tell our viewers how you plant to catch this pass?'

'Those with a lot of Money.'

Football Fish

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

'Foul, what foul?'

'At first I decided that Bob should sit out the rest of the game. He twisted his mind... but now I'm thinking - hey, maybe this is an opportunity.'

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."