Policy Fine-print Explorer Gifts

'His insurance company said it does not cover self-inflicted accidents.'

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

Stop and Birch

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

'I know zero about the issue, so I can't be called a 'Washington insider'.'

Fine Print Letters

McNHS

Business man must jump through hoops to impress his boss.

Yomp Trucking Inc...My way or the highway!

'How's World War 3 coming along, Timpson?'

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'It guides you through the halls of bureaucracy.'

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"Let me just check the brochure... No, on this model, the wheels are an optional extra."

EU money addiction

Big Brother

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."

Controversial Boxes

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

ACME INSURANCE COMPANY, 'Of course, the death benefits don't apply if it's the Government that kills you.'

Shipping contract.

'I'm sorry, sir, but you can't use your frequent-flier miles because one of our blackout dates,,,'

"Everybody's somebody's contra."

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

'There's really no need for confusion with this Medicare stuff. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in the instructions quite clearly says ... '

Contract Mouse Trap

"You may read the small print Mr Hill, but you obviously didn't read the microscopic print!"

"Sir, any pre-existing illnesses?" "Yes, brain damage from trying to read all the small print."

'The memo said we can't eat at our desk. Didn't say anything about cooking.'

"He died from eyestrain...read every prospectus they ever sent him."

"The advice was free. But the office visit was a hundred bucks an hour."

"What the large print giveth. . .the small print taketh away."