Police Process Pundit Gifts

'You are charged with plagiarizing a seventeenth-century sonnet. Won't you academics ever learn?'

Quality Control

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"That's a very difficult problem to address, Ted, could you restate it as a solution?"

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Official Rhetoric About Leakers and Whistleblowers, Translated

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

Jasper Coot: 'Osama shoulda named me to the Supreme Court! I ain't no judge, so I'm qualified! Hell. I ann't even a damn lawyer! But Lord knows, I am judgemental!

Apples...37 Spinach...43 Peaches...51

Pie chart - What were we studying, again?

New Dross, Same as the Old Dross

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

The Fishbowl Dynasty

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

'Look! If I wave these around I can generate electricity!'

"We're TV pundits debating the issues."

"Yes, we can hear well at the back, but I'd be happy to change seats with anyone who can't..."

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"I can take or leave my nose ring, but it does seem to improve wifi reception."

'Ok cup cake looks like its time to meet your maker.'

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

EU-budget fight

Vernon Trunick with the 3 O'Clock Report

"Actually son....these are peaches!"

"I see the cuts are starting to bite."

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

"To suggest that the government has nothing to do but persecute workers with trivial targets is absurd..." "We also have to write dozens of pointless procedures and meaningless memos..." "And these pathetic protocols didn't write themselves."

'Well, there should be someplace on the form where a person can explain why he's withholding some of his taxes to protest something.'

Sean Hannity

Making America Grate!

'In a five to four decision today, the Supreme Court said 'Leave us alone, and we'll leave you alone.''