Policing Pundit Gifts

Slammer on the Spot

'Hello, emergency services?... Quick, send the PCSOs. There's been a trivial crime!'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Hate Platforms

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Where does it all end up?

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Obama Healthcare.

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"Our government is proud announce a whopping 1% GDP growth at the small cost of climate change nearly wiping our indigenous tribes out."

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.