Poetic Programmer Gifts

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

The Computer Bore

"Greetings, I'm the bluebird of dank memes."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"Google car."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

'You said the computer was coming between us. So I put your name as my password.'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

Geek fairies

The Digital Family

Terry had a computer bug.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Computer monitor for a head.

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

'In the computer simulation he said he admired my candor and gave me a raise.'