Podcast Host Pillows

'Had you subscribed to my podcast, you would have learned my dog ate my homework.'

Podcast Hype

"Still having trouble getting guests I see."

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

"Oh, Jeff, you swore this wasn't a podcast."

Showbiz Awards

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Dialogue

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

The President Elect approved by 3 out of 4 talk show hosts!

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Multi-Tasking

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

"I wanted a partner... I got a co-host."

Privacy

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"