Pocket Practicalist Gifts

Cargo Kangaroos.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'You know too much,'

'Who folded the annual report into a paper airplane?'

Good News about winter

Fish hunting for men.

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Candid Camera store.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'My door is always open. That's why I installed a tripwire.'

Beware of Falling Notice.

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Shoes Make The Man

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

Caution May Contain Nuts.

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

While You Were Out: We Moved!

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

Sharks hate practical jokes.

"Uh-oh. We better stop using the fax machine."

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

"I keep having these funny moods, doctor."

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

"Okay, haha, very funny, you guys. Now toss down the ladder."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'