Plot Predictor Gifts

"Spoiler alert – it's gonna end like it did the other 117 times."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

Business is off the chart.

"I love your optimism."

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Oh, I can't complain"

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

Profit Chart with Happy and Sad Faces.

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

"They said it couldn't be done. I suppose we should have listened to our lawyers."

"We had a higher than expected income. We didn't expect any income at all."

Business Meeting

"Have you heard something that the rest of us don't know about?"

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'