Playtime Comedian Gifts

"No wonder you want to be the doctor. The nurse is the one that has to do everything!"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

Bed Seasons

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Infinity Tavern

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

Fruit Fly Job Interviews

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"If I had known this was such a great place to work I would have lied more on my resume."

'But I think my strongest asset as an employee is my aversion to pretense, coupled with an unwavering commitment to a regular-guy persona!'

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"Where do you see yourself getting drunk in five years?"

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'

"Your resume looks good, but I'm not seeing any DNA data."

'I'm on my break, Sam... I'll call you back when I start work.'

"Read it again, Daddy!"

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

NOW HIRING, 'I don't have any formal training for the position, but I've read all the relevant Wikipedia articles.'

'I know I've been sitting here all morning...We're playing doctors and I'm in the waiting room.'

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'