Playful Sweetheart Gifts

'Okay, I'll be your Valentine, but don't get any funny ideas.'

"I love you, you big fool."

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'You may now kick the bride.'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

Rude Snowpeople

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm giving my baby a bottle.

'Shuck me.'

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"Well, hello there yourself!"

"May we see your kids' menu please?"

"Why would I care if you're not a pure breed? That's a human concern! Sure, I'll go out with you tonight..."

Cupid

"When I'm with you, Ted, I feel dirty."

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

Love is... when your puppy licks you face without knowing where it's been.

"Wanna do lunch?"

Puppy and Kitten.

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

'I think I am in love dad - she even understands the offside rule.'

"That was good, but less tongue next time."

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'