Playful Protector Gifts

A Hole in the Dike

"Of course I'm allowed to jump on the bed as long as I'm wearing my bed-jumping helmet."

"Stop annoying my pooch!"

Ice Cream Surgeon

Child protects planet with umbrella.

Mixed Doubles.

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"Where the wild things were."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Holding hands

"I see you've security marked your property."

Advanced footsie

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

You are simply the Greatest

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"I know you're a cat person, but do you have to knock things off the table when we're out?"

'I told you that 2 month old balonie was cursed!'

"I'm not so sure I can handle this."

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

I love ewe.

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

"You complete me."

An old lady Kitesurfing

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.