Playful Practitioner Gifts

'For goodness sake, Harry. All the child wants to do is take out your appendix.'

Playing Doctors.

'Mind if I cut in?'

Junior Doctor.

"It's not real meditation when you SMIRK like that!"

"Race you to the spleen!"

Ice Cream Surgeon

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Mixed Doubles.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

Holding hands

Little doctor.

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

Advanced footsie

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

A child as a pet substitute.

"Wifey! Wifey! I've found the fountain of youth!"

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Young Doctor, Young Nurse, Young Undertaker

"Milk does a body good but champagne does it better!"

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'