Playful Healthcare Assistant Gifts

Disorderlies

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

"I've decided to go a different way for our new health plan."

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

'I usually don't make house calls but I'm glad to make an exception in your case, Gran'ma.'

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

"Old Mrs. Cranshaw is next, Doctor. Better put on your white jacket."

'The plastic funnel will keep him from biting his stitches.'

"It's cooties."

Plastic Surgery

"Let's not talk about your diagnosis. It depresses me too much."

'We're out of sugar pills, so I'm giving you some M&M's.'

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

'Regarding the surgery you just had - I hope you have a good sense of humour.'

'That's it for today. If you have any questions, ask the nurse. I can't hear a thing with these ear plugs in.'

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

His sister wanted to try some keyhole brain surgey.

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."