Playful Family Gifts

Father's Day.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'She's just great with the children.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Werewolves of London..."

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Pappa clown views offspring in maternity window.

'The kids were so sweet...'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'If you can keep him clean for a day you can sleep in his bed tonight.'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Kangaroo - Mum dropping her ice-cream on Joey's head.

'You may now kick the bride.'

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

"You have a co-pay...two cookies and a glass of milk."

'Look Daddy: I'm wearing Mummy's shoes...'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

'Remember last Saturday. . . you were bold that day. No dear, caught.'

Jeff's Smorgasbord

Circus Act

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"