Playful Family Dynamics Gifts

"I only grown them because her mother's allergic to them."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

I like the Jets...I guess

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Relationship Warning Lights

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

'The kids were so sweet...'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

Children's Party

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."