Platonic Plate Master T-Shirts

"Well, he's a celebrity chef and the celebreties love his cooking."

The wonderful world of cheese.

The Perfect Cannonball

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

"Balanced Diet"

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

Cat Olympics

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

Artists supplies: Fire Sale - Oil paints, burnt umber, burnt orange, fire red, hot pink.

'Coming to you direct from table nine; 'the polenta is cold'.'

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

Thanks TSA

'It didn't work out. We got along great, but our phones were incompatible.'

'Don't be a sissy - It's not that cold!'

"I want to have a relationship, but can't figure out what to do to make myself an attractive date. Should I defat, skim, try ultrafiltration lactose reduction?"

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

A jogger being bombarded by tiny battleships in a pond.

"You always said I could be what ever I want to be. I want to be someone who doesn't eat vegetables."

'I love you so much. As a friend.'

'Do you ever feel the trend to serve meals in towers is getting ridiculous?'

High board diver divining for the water.

"It's a little well done. I'll have to get my chainsaw."

'I know it's slow tonight, but surely you can find something to do more useful than learning to spin plates?'

'On second thought Mr. Akimoto, perhaps we can give you a loan to open a karate club.'

Shark in the water polo pool.

Sunny side up eggs

'What do I recommend?.. Now you're talking.|

'Could you please help me write an essay on the iron age?'

'Quit pushing. What's the hurry?'

Diet dishes.