Plastic Battler Gifts

fish in a bottle...

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

Fries and kids

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Painter's Duel.

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'Don't be afraid!...Bobo's just going to fix the teeth a little tighter.'

Gas Bill

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

Cat wakes up owner demanding to be fed.

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."

Heat and Food Poisoning

buck stops here-taxes...mine

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"

A sleeping couple

Directions for walker across several hills.

'Because I paid ten bucks for that lure, that's why.'

'So we meet again on the fields of battle.'

I'm not overweight , I just have a heavy management infrastructure.

'So how have the cuts affected you?'

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"To describe our budget shortfall as a 'Black Hole' is both simplistic and inaccurate."

'I was aiming at mama but she ducked faster than you.'

Stadium usher of the month.

"If the board cuts our budget any more, I'm going to have to start stealing the kids' lunch money."