Plastic Battler Gifts

fish in a bottle...

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

Fries and kids

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

'Not only can I not find the middle class tax cut, I can't find the middle class.'

"I've run every test known to man, and it turns out you're allergic to medical bills."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

Painter's Duel.

Gas Bill

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

'Don't be afraid!...Bobo's just going to fix the teeth a little tighter.'

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

Cat wakes up owner demanding to be fed.

"For all the years I've worked here you've had it in for me...so will you get off my case."

Heat and Food Poisoning

buck stops here-taxes...mine

I'm not overweight , I just have a heavy management infrastructure.

Man battles for his life against 'A Very Lively Little Red'

'I was aiming at mama but she ducked faster than you.'

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

A sleeping couple

'So how have the cuts affected you?'

'Because I paid ten bucks for that lure, that's why.'

'So we meet again on the fields of battle.'

Stadium usher of the month.

"To describe our budget shortfall as a 'Black Hole' is both simplistic and inaccurate."

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"

Directions for walker across several hills.

Male Green Beret applying face camouflage - female Green Beret applying lipstick.