Plantation Owner Gifts

Traveler speaking to colonial plantation worker

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Use your imagination.

Queen of Quinoa

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I saw a monarch around here."

The Cat's Alarm Clock

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

Arctic Hothouse

Man in woods sees sign, 'No Trespassing', next to 'Go Ahead - Make Our Day!'

William and Real Estate

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

'I don't know what it is. It showed up right after I invented agriculture.'

Chelsea flower show sewage

"Actually, these are more valuable than the golden ones now."

"If we poured the millions of dollars we spend on advertising into improving our vineyard, we wouldn't have to advertise."

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

“UKRAINE FARM LAND PICK YOUR OWN”

"Oh no, Daisy's committing herbicide!"

"I heard they bought thousands of acres around here."