Plant-based Ponderer Gifts

"All I'm saying, Dear, is that sometimes I get tired of vegetarian restaurants!"

My sister is hounding us to give up meat. That's good! What? You don't live with a wacko! My family doesn't eat meat or fish. You don't look vegetarian! I dress in disguise.

The food was nice...but something was missing.

"Gracie, you want to be a vegetarian?"

"You think you have it bad. My mom decided we should go vegetarian!"

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Microbiology Lab. It's worse than we thought. That antibiotic resistant bacteria is reading Nietzsche!

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

Have you been undressing me with your eyes? It's okay, I'm a doctor

"I want to enjoy the greener grass on the other side of the fence, but the problem is that I don't know where that fence is."

The Fireside Jungle: But specimens should never be introduced unless you know how to look after them.

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

'I love the smell of spring!'

If a tree falls in the forest, and a mime hears it, does it make a sound?

'Mom, it's doing it again'

If a cell phone vibrates in the woods, does anyone give a damn?

'I'm gonna go with C: girls make my brain hurt.'

"Just don't swallow any. What we're wallowing in is Hi-Density Syntha-Soil Fabricated Mud."

"If we go vegan, can we eat pollen, but not nectar or vice versa or both or neither?"

'Life's a swamp and then you croak.'