Plant-based Advocate Gifts

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"States of tofu"

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Politically Correct Snowperson

All Natural Nothing

Queen of Quinoa

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

How did THAT get there? Wash me.

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"Is there a vegan option?"

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

The sea 2050.

"Some trees in New Hampshire hate being hugged."

'Our health-care system - eat organically.'

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

"You had me at alternative milk."

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Raining Leaves.

In the future, wars will be fought over water.

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'Be careful...It may not be organic.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Ignoring Climate Change

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Heart Disease Menu

'Since the North Pole melted and we had to migrate south our camouflage stinks!'