Planning Retirement Gifts

"You have to think long-term. You can't afford to be old yet."

'There's nothing wrong with entering magazine sweepstakes - but have you folks considered any other retirement plans?'

"He was just a year away from retirement."

"Papi, what do you have in your retirement plan?"

"If the secede, we'll have no place to retire."

'So far you have enough to smell a rose or two, but not enough to come to a complete stop and smell the roses.'

Take Your Social Security Early.

"If we don't give up the cars, holidays and meals out we'll never save enough in our pension to have a decent retirement."

'Fortune telling/retirement planning'

'Should you wait until 70 to retire? Are you feeling lucky?'

'Why do I get the impression that my 401(k) isn't performing well.'

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"Having looked at your portfolio I suggest the best option might be for you to think about dying early."

'For you I suggest a retirement plan consisting of bonds, CDs, IRAs, and marrying rich.'

'I figured planning for retirement would be easier if I started at the end and worked backward.'

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

"People are unsure as to why they should continue to invest in highly paid fund managers..."

"It's been 300 years. I think I'm read to retire."

"This is your plan to pay for our retirement?!"

"Good game."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Lady of the Cake.

'Not that net!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"