Planning A Luxury Vacation T-Shirts

"I want two days and one dazzling night on the Orient Express!"

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Easter Island legs

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

La Table

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

Grand Canyon. What's so great about the Grand Canyon?...Most of it's missing!

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

'After researching our dream vacation online with reviews, commentaries, we cams and pictures, we felt we'd been there and didn't need the trip!'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

I travelled to get away from it all. All I got away from was my luggage.

Travelogue

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

Canada's winter survival kit.

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?