Luxury Trip Planning T-Shirts

Save the Hamptons

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

La Table

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Italia tours

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

The Desert Island Package

"You can enhance your experience in first class by signing up to get live updates of how miserable everyone in coach is."

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

'It's the bill for your trip to France. When you called to ask if it was okay to bathe in Champagne, I thought you meant the place.'

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

Desert Island Statues wearing bucket hats.

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Commuter on the Orient Express

"This is the life -- I'm never travelling Economy again!"

Room service.

"What's the best ailment I could claim to convince my husband that I need a luxury cruise?"

"I know all about the rising costs of rent, utilities and food. I was thinking about it on the company jet on the way to my holiday house on the Cote D'Azur, but I'm afraid the company is under too much financial pressure to give you a raise."

Summer

'Forget economy! Put us down for every frill you got!'

"Such a heavenly night I spent in your bed."

The sun luring people to the sea

'Can't I just travel on my learjet and have fun on my yacht and quit the stupid, boring political part of my presidency?'

'Tomorrow morning I would like breakfast in bed.'

'Travel agency - Ego trips our specialty'