Planet Punter Gifts

The God's football

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

Water is discovered on the moon....

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

Twenty years later, Kim turns the tables on her loathsome former English teacher.

Standings: Milky Way Conference

A Semicolon.

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

"Not too much off my back."

Sure, Jupiter's the biggest, but I hear he uses Asteroids to build up his bulk!

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

I have a higher escape velocity than you! It has nothing to do with being clingy!

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

He's very defensive about his personal space.

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

"Bretheren and Sistern out there in Congregational Land!"

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

The Dark Side of the Moon.

Saloon Selectives

"We can patch 'em, but you'd have to settle for half-decent intentions."

'He's a nice guy, but those tectonic plates of his really weird me out.'

"Must dash - I'm appearing in a 'restaurant soup' cartoon this afternoon..."

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'Do you think it takes 10p?'

Dolphin at bar - 'I'm in disguise'

"Maybe if I unplug it and plug it in again, it'll fix the mess."

'Mars is known as the 'red planet'? Does it have debt problem like ours?'