Planet Preserver Gifts

Another Religiously Motivated Crime!

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

Deforestation.

North Pole

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Rare earths are the key to a greenwashed, technotopian future

The Environmentalist

Nature versus commerce.

Natural Disasters

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'Humans & Lemmings have a lot in comon...'

Eco-Anxiety For All Seasons

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

Child protects planet with umbrella.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

Global Warmer 2000.

How can I enjoy that clean, fresh, salt air when I'm up to my neck in garbage?

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

Climate Crisis

No pollution! It's a good day to get my eco-nut sister's present. What is it? Something she's agitated for all year. Where are we going? Here's good. She's so lucky. Not everyone gets fresh air for Christmas!

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Just Stop Boil

"Good riddance! They were messing up the environment."

'I must be reaching that age! I can't get my ozone layer up anymore!'

Insect extinction

Evolution.

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."