Planet Pioneer Gifts

Humans and aliens have landed on new planet at the same time.

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'You're about to see a drive for the ages!'

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

'Now this is my kind of green!'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

Cosmic Rays: Large cartilaginous interstellar space-dwelling fish of the order Myliobatiformes. Feed on planets containing plankton and small schooling fish.

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

"AS a matter of fact, yes, you have told me you vacationed on Earth."

'That's the first nickel I took in!'

"Yahoo! We struck earthfriendly oil."

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

'This is where we shed all our inhibitions.'

'It would be just like my husband not to like the color.'

'Mena,the presses are about to roll.' 'But I'm STILL writing my column!!'

"For five starts it's worth the trip."

"Isn't Mars over that way?"

Castaway harnessing electricity.

"I'm going on Dragons Den with this, the one-brush-toothbrush."

'It's so new we don't know what it does, but nobody else has it so we're selling the hell out of it.'

Wait! It might be cheaper to just knock it down and build from scratch.

Zero gravity and subzero gravity explained.

'Never mind the delicate balance of nature - what about the delicate balance of business and finance?'

"Let's all go out & get drunk."

'If I don't think inside the box... why should I think outside the box?'

Life Discovered on Mars

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."