Plague Doctor Fan Gifts

Leeches, lucky charms, rat catching. The secretary of health is in.

Type A Flu.

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Dinosaur Group Think

"You have a heart murmur and I'm starting to hear your liver and kidneys complain."

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"You're sure it's a birthmark?"

"Huh, Pharaoh let them go after the tenth plague. And here I was all set to send a coronavirus! Guess I'll just have to save it for later."

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'The GOOD news is that the medication you took has completely cleared up your hardening of the arteries.'

'Termites!'

"I'm afraid the shark got your arms and legs. It's probably not a good time, but your brother's here. He needs a kidney."

'It's a simple operation. You'll be good as old in no time.'

A doctor statue and a patient statue

"Good news. You're not ready for a kick-the-bucket list."

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'

Yes, the results of your blood test came back, Mr. Fusco. But they're for me to know, and you to find out. ! !

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

Wash, Dry & Spin.

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'Take two of these and visit my website in the morning.'

'Quite frankly, Mr. Bayliss, you've got us baffled.'

"How come we don't start plagues any more? Are we one of those boring couples?"

"Well it's not so much an ITCH, more a slight irritation, what could it be?"

"There's no response! Are you sure he's in there?"

'You're fine.'

"I can't find anything wrong with you at all."

Spin doctors.