Doctor's Dilemma Fan Gifts

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

"Ooops...wrong doctor !"

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

'Say, please.'

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

"You're sure it's a birthmark?"

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

'First the good news - we've all got to go sometime...'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'Who was that masked man? I never got the chance to thank him!'

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

'Damn it! I suppose this means another malpractice suit!'

'Termites!'

Medical Curiosities

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'Oh, don't mind them, We're shooting a reality-based TV series,'

"I'm afraid the shark got your arms and legs. It's probably not a good time, but your brother's here. He needs a kidney."

'All right, so he dropped the heart. The floor is clean.'

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

'You're fine it's just ketchup.'

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

Road Guilt

'You don't have time for a second opinion, Mr. Garvey. We've got to cut to the chase!'