Doctor's Dilemma Fan Gifts

"If I need to stop smoking and lose weight...what are you going to do about it?"

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"Looks like you've been renewed fro one more season."

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"Ooops...wrong doctor !"

He only had enough money for one, and for the life of him he couldn't remember the difference,

"You're sure it's a birthmark?"

'Say, please.'

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

'There are some things they don't teach you in medical school. I think you've got one of those things.'

'First the good news - we've all got to go sometime...'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

Medical Curiosities

'The GOOD news is that the medication you took has completely cleared up your hardening of the arteries.'

'Oh, don't mind them, We're shooting a reality-based TV series,'

'Who was that masked man? I never got the chance to thank him!'

'Whoops! Get my lawyer on the phone!'

'Damn it! I suppose this means another malpractice suit!'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"Waiter - there's no fly in my soup!"

'Termites!'

"I'm afraid the shark got your arms and legs. It's probably not a good time, but your brother's here. He needs a kidney."

'All right, so he dropped the heart. The floor is clean.'

"Exaggerate!"

'You're fine it's just ketchup.'

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

"Sorry Mr. Parkinson, but I've left some rubber gloves inside you. I need to open you up to retrieve them."

Yes, the results of your blood test came back, Mr. Fusco. But they're for me to know, and you to find out. ! !

Road Guilt

'You don't have time for a second opinion, Mr. Garvey. We've got to cut to the chase!'