Placebo Enthusiast Pillows

Talk to your doctor about Placebitrex...the pill that does whatever you think you need it to.

'He was unhappy to learn that I had prescribed a placebo but when I told him it was an extra-strength placebo, he was pleased.'

'Would you like this placebo in name brand or generic?'

'I must tell you that the drug that cured you has been proven completely ineffective.'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'The good news is you're a hypochondriac. the better news is we have a special on placebos all this week.'

I've got an imaginary stomach ulcer. - 'Why come to a doctor if it's imaginary?' - 'I thought maybe you could prescribe a placebo.' - 'What the..?!' - 'What does 'O.T.' stand for?' - ''Oxygen thief.''

"'Shake well. Settling is normal.' I feel better and I haven't even taken it."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, only my addiction to placebos to gets me through the day."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

For the last time, Bobby, I told you – every other person gets the red cup with the placebo. Lemonade 50¢.

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

Scientists building a tower

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

Undercover Biophysicists

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'