Placebo Enthusiast Pillows

Talk to your doctor about Placebitrex...the pill that does whatever you think you need it to.

'He was unhappy to learn that I had prescribed a placebo but when I told him it was an extra-strength placebo, he was pleased.'

'Would you like this placebo in name brand or generic?'

'I must tell you that the drug that cured you has been proven completely ineffective.'

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

'The good news is you're a hypochondriac. the better news is we have a special on placebos all this week.'

I've got an imaginary stomach ulcer. - 'Why come to a doctor if it's imaginary?' - 'I thought maybe you could prescribe a placebo.' - 'What the..?!' - 'What does 'O.T.' stand for?' - ''Oxygen thief.''

"'Shake well. Settling is normal.' I feel better and I haven't even taken it."

"As a confirmed hypochondriac, only my addiction to placebos to gets me through the day."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

'Let's agree to dispense with the rules of nomenclature and call it compound X.'

'Well, well - this should create a nice little wave of panic and hysteria.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

An angry Scientist has discovered his two Lab' mice are using a GPS to find their way through a maze to some cheese.

'Okay I admit it - we probably do need a rocket scientist.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

Undercover Biophysicists

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'Here's one I made earlier.'

Scientists building a tower

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

Galileo's Attempt to discover is heavier dog falls faster than lighter dog.