Pizza Protector Gifts

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'Don't you think your Jim has taken getting his favourite sun lounger as far as it can go?'

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'You've had enough!'

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

"Stupid bullies. I would try to defend myself – but what if I lose? Who would cover my legal expenses?"

"Oh, great, the fundamentalists are back."

'Pasta imposter' "Oi! You're not vermicelli, you're cheese string..bugger off!!"

In certain parts of the world, chili-peppers have become a valuable commodity!

'Is there anything more infectious than the laughter of children?... Besides us, I mean.'

Woman tells slob husband: 'Yes, you've got the Gold for watching the most Olympics coverage, now please get a shower.'

'You may have my Double-Double when you can pry it from my cold, dead hand.'

School crossing

'I'm eating right now. Can you call me back when I'm not eating?'

Children and the pandemic

Modern Childhood

'My mom says you can come in sans nanchaku.'

Safety Goggles and Breathing Apparatus must be worn in the Sandpit

The Rise and Fall of the the Planet of the Geeks.

"Deep and crisp and even...just how I like my pizzas!"

Tensions are high in the produce section as no one dares to lick their fingers.

"Don't worry, I'll invite everyone but him to your birthday party."

"Hello, Mr. Gottlieb of Acme Telemarketing? Oh, did I interrupt your dinner...?"

"The sandbox is safe, and it's even safer without the sand."