Pizza Procrastinator Pillows

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Serious Putty

"Hey, you two! What did I say about sharing?!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

Stupid Microwave

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

State U. He procrastinated and is now trying to do all the work for his middle English literature class in a couple of days. "Canterburied," is he?!

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

'You folks order the extra-large?'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Pizza Rescue.

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'