Internet Procrastinator Pillows

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

Serious Putty

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Working from home to-do list.

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Studying and technology

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Invaders from Planet Manava.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

The Procrastinatorium.

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

Bummer Time Streaming