Pizza Procrastinator T-Shirts

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Serious Putty

"Hey, you two! What did I say about sharing?!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

Stupid Microwave

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

'You folks order the extra-large?'

Pizza Rescue.

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

'To her...the basic 4 food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'

Luigi's Pizzarear

Excess Baggage: For many of us 'Roughing it' means staying at a hotel without room service.

'In that case I'll do nothing!'