Pitch-perfect Presenter Gifts

'Your proposal's on my desk right now, though I have to admit, I've made some significant changes.'

"I don't know. It doesn't do anything for my little general - does it do anything for your little general?"

'As you know, gentlemen, innovation at the point of sale accounts for our competitive edge.'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

'It appears the 'What?'s have it.'

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

Hanging off every word...

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Dragon's den desk. 'I'm in' and 'I'm out' tray on desk.

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

'And in conclusion, perhaps a change of business model is in order.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'