Pitch Mastering Guru Gifts

Salesman.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

"Great plan. Could we get some more details?"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Elevator Pitch

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

I like what I'm seein' out there. This could be our year Wikowski.

'I feel confident about our presentation. If there is any blowback, don't worry. We're both wearing our flak jackets under our suits.'

'I hope you made the prospect say no three times before you gave up.'

Dragon's den desk. 'I'm in' and 'I'm out' tray on desk.

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

Lazy plumber.

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"Jessica has an idea about going to the beach that she'd like to pitch you."

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

'Here's where you give me non-comprehending nods of approval.'

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

Jurgen Klopp Caricature

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

'It's the next big thing, but I can't fit it through the door.'

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

"By the way, about your presentation...Management has made a surprise visit."

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

Football Crazy.

"Let's go slider, fastball, curve, beanball, fight, ejection, shower, beer."

Personal Cheerleader.

'Any questions?'

'You want to run that by me again?'

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'