Pirating Gifts

'I didn't say you're getting old, Cap'n - I just asked if you need glasses!'

Boy with soccer spot patch on eye next to pirate.

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

Pirate

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

Piracy on a boating lake

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

'Are we there yet?'

The Dubloon Stops Here

"Someone must love someone very much indeed."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Treasure Island Book.

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Pirates double up as a scratching post.