Pirating Gifts

'I didn't say you're getting old, Cap'n - I just asked if you need glasses!'

Boy with soccer spot patch on eye next to pirate.

"I'm sorry but the bubbles make me giggle."

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Pirate

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

'Are we there yet?'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

The Dubloon Stops Here

Piracy on a boating lake

"Someone must love someone very much indeed."

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'