Financial Pirate Gifts

Financial Pirates

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

No caption. (On a pirate ship various flags fly, including flags with a skull and crossbones and other banners showing logos from various social media sites. On the boat deck below, a pirate is looking at his cell phone).

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'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Any idea how long your family might be visiting?

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

"Shall I let them breathe."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"I find parrots have a tendency to fly away"

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - Captain Spatula

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

'It's a treasure map.'

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

'How come I always get the shoulder with the parrot?'

Rats deserting a sinking ship

What if Pirates Were Born With Their Wooden Leg?

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

Walking the Plank.

"How many letters can you read?"

"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"

'They decided to immure the ladrone in a drogue.'

'You're allergic to feathers.'

'I haven't had the urge for a cigarette for two days. How's the patch working for you?'