Pipe Whisperer Gifts

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"We can't tell yet if it's a malfunction or a dysfunction."

Monk playing an organ.

"People are always discriminating against my dad. At work, people say, 'clean up that spill' and 'get under the sink.'"

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Pipe Dream.

Gardener attacked by plants.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

My other cello is a Stradivari

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Violin Practise

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

Husband bakes a pie

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

A woman playing a keyboard

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

He is happy to take almost any kind of fish...

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

Wino Appreciation Group

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

Happy Violinist

Gentleman's Club Scene

Organ Player

Frederic Chopin

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'

Water: the first medicine

"Pick me! No me! Me! Pick me! Pick ME!"

"It's an agreeable little wine."

Fisherman get a good catch.

'SSHHH, PIANOS. TWO GRANDS AND A BABY. ONE HAS THE LID UP AND THE OTHER ONE IS BARING ITS KEYS. BETTER GET THE CELLO.'

"This position may call for some occasional plumbing."