Pious Prankster Gifts

I know it's been ages since my last confession, but I trust you've been getting my texts?

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Christian Book Centre.

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Nun Binning the Devil

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Chase me, chase me cows.

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Boy rolled into a snowball

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Resourceful toddler

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

Boy makes snowman around a lamp post.

Tamagotchi paralysis.

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Aaannd … Peekaboo!

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

Teddy Time Bears

Ooooh! Someone got a carrot job! Someone got a carrot job!

'I did it all from memory.'

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

"Where's Waldo? Where's Waldo? Peek-a-boo! There he is!"

"Ok, I found a secure line."

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."